March 16, 2014

Detoxing Self-Assessment

I’m hungry. I was on a downward spiral in to salami and frozen pizzas, so I decided to start my reset with a juice cleanse. I am almost at the end of day three. I am not thinking 100% clearly, so let’s see how this post goes. At a minimum, it will distract me until my next juice.

I have not met with my executive coach yet (that happens later this week), but before I stopped eating, I did do my pre-coaching homework. This homework included some tests that revealed my top five strengths and my four Tru Value words. Anyone who knows me would not be surprised by either of these lists.

My Top Five Strengths:

  1. Caution, prudence, and discretion (this one makes me laugh because it basically keeps me from doing anything and yet it is apparently, a strength!)
  2. Judgement, critical thinking, and open mindedness (I do think things through A LOT. Big thinker.)
  3. Industry, diligence, and perseverance (I do keep trying to climb out of the hole!)
  4. Honesty, authenticity, and genuineness (I don’t know how to be anyone but me. Sometimes I wish I did.)
  5. Modesty and humility (oh yeah)

These were my four Tru Value words. I had a list of 100 words in 15 categories and I had to narrow it down to four.

  • To feel good (This was not the same as “have fun” which did not make my top 4. I did find the distinction interesting . Feeling good was in the “to feel” category with words like “emote”, “experience”, “sense”, and “in touch with.”  “Have fun” was in the pleasure category with “be hedonistic”, “play games”, and “be amused”. “To feel good” is WAY more me. I wonder if anyone actually picks “be hedonistic?”)
  • Be connected (connection makes me feel good!)
  • Excellence (I am a recovering perfectionist, of course)
  • Accomplish (nothing better than checking things off the list)

Both tests also concluded that I am not spiritual and don’t really have a zest for life/sense of adventure. Not a shock.

I do like taking tests, but I think I know myself pretty well and I am not sure exactly how these lists will help me get unstuck in my career. I guess this is why I am paying a coach!  Perhaps she can figure out how a super cautious person who likes to get things done but lacks a zest for life and has not found God can find her way out of a mid-life crisis.

Its time for my next juice!

March 9, 2014

Reset

It’s been a while, I know.  What happened, you ask? My job ate me alive.

This was not the plan. I got all brave and said no and went on vacation and everything, but things continued to spiral out of control. Every time I tried to set limits, some new urgent project was dumped on me.  Then, I got moved down the ladder to report to the guy who took the job that I turned down.  This arrangement is not working out well for me. I will leave it at that.

The all-consuming “software emergencies” have prevented me from doing much of anything else for months. No dating. Almost no social engagements. Lot’s of TV that I don’t even have the energy to write about. I know more than I need to about Juan Pablo, Narvik-B, the drama at Downton, and Joe Carroll. I haven’t even been able to get to the movies to see Leonardo DiCaprio!  That’s when you know things are bad.

Yesterday, in an attempt to make more time for me, I went to see a new potential primary care physician for a check-up. She turned out to be a crazy pants. Somehow, in a 45 minute appointment, she never got to an actual physical exam. She did find time to recommend an elimination diet, ask me to join her “plank challenge”, pitch the Nike fitness club app and some 7 minute workout in the NY Times, sell me on gratitude meditation, and give me an assignment to explore the “story” behind why I don’t like grocery shopping. Perhaps I should not have selected my doctor because her office sent me flashy flyers and I could make an appointment online.

What I did take away from this bizarre medical appointment was this idea that I need to “change the story.” I went to find out if I have any vitamin deficiencies (which I still don’t know) but I left with a reminder that my story currently sucks.

Its time for a reset.

Reset: to put back in the correct position for healing

I’ve been here before. I am here again…or I am still here. Sigh. Here are the baby steps I am currently taking to change the story:

  • I am taking the whole weekend off for the first time since Christmas.
  • I am going to start working with an executive coach to figure out what kind of job would actually make me happy.
  • I am pondering a spring juice cleanse or a TVaction to cleanse the body and mind.
  • I am trying to get the dating engine started again. My least favorite activity of them all, but a necessarily evil.
  • I am blogging again. Since I hate writing lots of negative stuff, I am hoping this will force me to get back to doing positive stuff and thinking positively about stuff in general.

Eventually, this blog will have a happy ending (rewritten from, “I don’t know if this blog will have a happy ending, but I hope it does,” as I actively try to visualize a new story.)

You (my readers) are now back in the loop as I climb back out of the hole I keep slipping back in to. Isn’t that what life is? Is anyone actually able to sustain awesome perfection every day? Point me to that person’s blog if they exist.

November 6, 2013

In Limbo and on Vacation

Todos Santos 1It’s been about three weeks since I said no to my boss, turned down more responsibility and more money, and slowed down the train that has been taking me in a direction I don’t want to go. I am still on the train. I still have a job. Everything is cool with my boss. I just bought myself some time to figure out what to do next.

Things have gotten more crazy and stressful since I turned down the additional responsibility (how in the world I would have survived MORE work, I have no idea.) Luckily, I had a vacation planned. Not so lucky for the people covering for me back home in the midst of complete chaos.

But I am not in the middle of all of that chaos right now, I am in Mexico.

I didn’t think I had the energy for a fitness vacation with strangers that involves boats and sun (none of which are my favorite), but I was happy to get away from the chaos. These Escape to Shape trips are always an amazing experience, but a little exhausting (you can read about my former E2S trips to Sicily, Bali, and Hudson, NY if you are so inclined)

A typical day on my fitness vacation starts at 7:30am with exercise of some kind before breakfast and possibly climbing in to a van to drive to more exercise or adventure or shopping. We follow that up with lunch and more exercise, adventure, or shopping. We might have a couple of hours of downtime or a massage in there somewhere. We eat dinner at 7pm and are all wiped out and in bed by 9pm.

When I first arrived, I was feeling very stressed and anxious about tackling all of this exercise and adventure. I was exhausted and faced an onslaught of huge cockroaches in my room on the first night. I was not a happy camper.

Then I had a couple of yoga classes and got myself grounded and decided to look at this week as an opportunity to get in the right mind set start my next life shift. Yes, I am tired, but I am going to do it anyway. Yes, boats sometimes make me sea sick, but not always. It is a risk that might pan out in to a beautiful day with amazing experiences, or it might completely suck. There is no way to know unless I do it. Yes, talking to strangers can sometimes be boring or suck your energy but opportunity comes from expanding your horizons and your circle of connections. Yes, cockroaches are gross but they won’t hurt me and they are flexing my creativity as I have developed a whole process for capturing and killing them (side note: I wasn’t originally killing them, just putting them outside, but I think they kept finding their way back. Now I squash them. Sorry cucarachas.)

The group I am with this week is a very sweet group of women (and one sweet young man – gay, not a prospect.) They are easy to be with and one is even going through the same exact mid-life crisis as I am with her job. Our yoga teachers are awesome and have an amazing energy. Our fearless leader Erica is inspiring with her love of what she does every day.

I got my ass on the boat and some of it was not pleasant, but I did not get full on sea sick and I did see colony of sea lions in the middle of the ocean (pretty cool) and walked/swam on two different beautiful beaches on islands in the Sea of Cortez. That is an experience that I am very glad that I had. I am not, however, rushing to get on a boat again. I had to use a lot of yoga breathing and “appreciating the moment” to keep my cool through some very rough water.

I am more than halfway through the week and I said no to a couple of things (like boot camp class and a three hour hike in the blazing hot Mexican sun) but have tackled the rest and am surprisingly, finally feeling relaxed (the one hour massage I just had might have something to do with that.)

I might just return with the strength that I need to figure out what’s next and take it on. That is a tall order, but at a minimum I will return with some color and some beautiful photos.

October 16, 2013

Brave

A couple of months ago I saw a video for the song “Brave” by Sarah Barielles.  The song is about being brave and speaking your mind.  The video shows people “happy dancing” in public. They are dancing and happy because dancing is fun, and happy people dance. They seemed so free.

Then the bridge came on and it goes like this:

“Maybe there’s a way of the cage where you live. Maybe one of these days you can let the light in and show me…how big your brave is.” 

I started to cry.

This song has been with me (literally on my iphone and figuratively in my head) every since that day. It inspired my post to get unstuck. I have been trying to take baby steps with being less of a perfectionist, but, to be honest, I have still been working a lot and keeping everyone happy except myself.

But I was also doing a lot of thinking.

I had an epiphany a couple of weeks ago that I don’t like managing people doing stuff, I like to do stuff. I have zero interest in deciding what someone else should work on, telling them what to do, giving them feedback on it, and sometimes redoing it. I like to come up with a plan and execute the plan. I like working WITH other people, and I like helping people and taking care of people, but I don’t want to be responsible for their work. I don’t want to climb the ladder. I don’t need a promotion. I want LESS. Less work that I don’t like, less stress, more happy.

I had big plans to go in and tell my boss this (when she returned from her travels) because she keeps planning for me to run large teams and every time it comes up, I just stay quiet and internally pray that it does not happen (and things change SO fast all the time that I have learned not to make a stink until it happens.)

Today, it happened. I got the call that someone quit and my boss just started talking about me taking his job. I protested. I told her about my plans to come in and talk to her about not managing people. I was almost crying. At one point she said “I feel like I am talking you off a bridge.” But she continued to try to sell me on it! She is an amazing sales person and me taking this job would make her life so much easier. I was not brave this morning, and I caved in and told her I would take the job.

All day, I was panicked and miserable. I couldn’t eat. Could barely work. I pictured people congratulating me on my promotion and me starting to cry. I could not picture how I could fly to Germany and rally a team of people I had no interest in managing. This was not good. Why in the world would I agree to me MORE miserable!!! I was already SO miserable!!

But what would happen if I called her back and said no? I would piss her off. I would make her life harder. I might damage our relationship. I might be committing career suicide. I might have to find a new job. I might get a new boss. It was all scary but it all sounded better than actually DOING the job I had been praying would not land in my lap.

I called her back tonight and told her I didn’t want the job. The conversation was short. She was not happy. I have no idea what will happen next, but I might have just broken out of my cage.

Check out my inspiration, here…

October 13, 2013

Initial Thoughts: Once Upon a Time in Wonderland

Once Upon a Time in Wonderland is only one week out the gate and TV by the Numbers already has it on the cancellation bubble! If you like Once Upon a Time, you will like this show (I actually think this one is better.) The question is, how many hours of fantasy, fairy tale drama TV can a person watch? Sunday night feels like the right night to watch something Disney-ish (because, as I have mentioned before, The Wonderful World of Disney used to be on Sunday nights.)  Thursday night is more like a Vampire Diaries, Grey’s Anatomy, Scandal kind of night (in my TV world.)  People are getting ready for the weekend and want to watch drama and scandal and pretend their weekend will be full of the same. (None of this applies to me of course, because I record everything and watch it when I feel like it, but apparently, lots of people still watch things real time!)

That being said, I liked it. The story is told by bouncing around from present day to past (different times in the past, even) so you have to stay on your toes to follow the story. I like some intellectual challenge in my TV. What is the story? Let me tell you..(spoiler alert)

The whole things starts AFTER Alice’s adventures in Wonderland. When she returned from Wonderland, she had apparently been gone for a long time (not just like a nap) so everyone thought she was dead. No one believed her story so they institutionalized her. At some point (we don’t know the details exactly), as a young woman Alice escaped and went back to Wonderland to get proof that it exists. On this return journey, she fell in love with a genie. The genie was supposedly killed by the evil Red Queen (we don’t really know why) and Alice was devastated. When she returned to the “real world” from Wonderland, she was despondent. She told her doctors she did make it all up and then she agreed to electroshock therapy to forget everything (we are now in the present day that is not really the present day, because they still do electroshock therapy. Its a vague time period.)

BUT..before she goes in for the procedure, the Knave of Hearts and the White Rabbit (remember that people and animals can travel between worlds) tell her that her genie love (Cyrus) is alive and that she should go back to Wonderland to find him. BUT..when she gets there, we learn that the evil Red Queen made up the whole story of Cyrus being alive to get her back to Wonderland. BUT…then we learn that Cyrus really IS still alive and being held prisoner by the evil genie Jafar (we don’t know why) who is working with the Red Queen (at the moment. He also wants to kill her.)

So there you have it. Many mysteries to unravel and a romantic quest to find lost love in a fantasy land where there are lots of mushrooms and things can grow big and be made small. The dialog is actually smart and witty and the visuals are appealing. And Alice kicks ass, literally, with swords and karate moves.

Watching this show made me give some thought to what is is about Alice in Wonderland that appealed to me as a small child. I think it was because Alice was brave and curious and spoke her mind. She made her way, on her own, through this strange land and she wasn’t scared, she just rolled with it. She was nice to those who were nice to her but didn’t put up with any shit. She did get upset once and cry a river of tears, but she pulled herself together and got out of her predicament. No one came to save her, she just figured it out. She was smart.

Maybe Alice was my first feminist heroine!

October 11, 2013

The Artist

The Artist is no more. Well he is, still, somewhere drinking and smoking organic cigarettes somewhere in Brooklyn, but the Artist and I are no more. We never made it to that fourth date. Since he and I are no more, and he will never read this blog, I can debrief you while I drink wine and eat ice cream (the wild and crazy Friday night of a recovering TVaholic in NYC!)

I walked away from my first date with The Artist, confused. I was pretty sure that he had a narcissistic personality disorder, but I still found myself drawn to him. This really confused me.

Why did I suspect that he had a narcissistic personality disorder? Well, he talked for at least 1 1/2 hours of our two hour date. He was smart and interesting, but I spent most of the time thinking “this guy is really cute, but he will not stop talking.” Near the end of the date, I asked him what his Meyers-Briggs type was (I am obsessed with Meyers-Briggs). He told me his (INTJ) and then asked me what mine was (I was shocked because that was perhaps the 3rd question he asked me in 1 1/2 hours) and when I told him (ISFJ) his only response was “My initials are right in the middle. How can I get that Meyers-Briggs type?” No joke.

I can’t explain the chemistry, but we had it. Perhaps I am only attracted to messed up, kind of vulnerable guys, with beards. (Did I mention he had a beard?) When I meet a narcissist, my thought is always, what happened to this poor guy to make him this way? I am too empathetic to be dating.

The chemistry, the beard, and me thinking maybe he was just nervous, got us to date #2. Date #2 was really fun. We went on an art crawl to some openings in Chelsea with some of his friends. We drank, we looked at art, and had a great time. He was sweet and attentive, in many ways. Lots of kissing. At dinner after the art crawl, he talked again for 75% of the time.  I did learn a lot about what happened to the poor guy that made him that way. I think I know everything about the Artist, actually. Everything. His childhood was privileged, but sad and lonely.

I agreed to date #3, but I decided I was definitely going to raise this issue about him doing all of the talking. We met at a dive bar where he spends most of his time (not alone in his studio BTW) playing pool and eating the free pizza that you get with every drink. (This is how artists survive.) After the initial 30 minutes of him talking about this frustrating thing that happened to him that day I said, “I am not going to ask you any more questions. You don’t know anything about me.” He said “That’s true.” I said, “You have to ask me questions because I am not good at talking about myself.” He asked me what my favorite color was. Then he asked me what my favorite sexual position was. Then he asked me what country I wanted to visit. It quickly became apparent that this guy had no idea how to connect with another human being. I got frustrated and said “That’s what you want to know about me? You aren’t very good at asking questions are you?” Horrible thing to say. I feel horrible about it. He then said “Well you have been alive for 44 years, what do you want me to know about you?” I gave up and changed the subject back to him.

A person who can only open up to someone who shows interest (me) can not date a person who does not know how to show interest (him). I wanted to believe that he HAD interest and just didn’t know how to show it, but who knows. I always see the best in people, even when it is not there.

I somehow found myself still agreeing to date #4. I don’t even know how it happened. But we never got that far.

At the time he was supposed to be at my house for date #4, he texted me to say that  he got sucked in to playing pool at the dive bar and did I still want him to come over AFTER finished up his game (really?)  I was pissed and told him not to come over. He called me and tried to smooth things over (he was drunk) and promised he would make it up to me when he returned from his trip (that he was leaving for the next day) but first, could he just tell me a little bit about how hard his day was? O..M…G. Of course, I listened, because that is what I do.

I never heard from him again after that night.

I wish him well. He is a good guy who is not good with people (which he did tell me on our first date). And I really like his work (which you can see yourself in this post. Those are some of his sculptures.)

The dating continues….

October 6, 2013

Initial Thoughts: Masters of Sex and Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

A good television show just feels different than a not so good one. A good television show has texture and feels thick and dense, full of quality. It holds your interest. You want to watch all the way to the end to see what will happen in the next episode. It might make you laugh out loud or think or cry. You want to know more about the characters and what they are thinking and how they feel. Entertainment is art. Everyone has their own opinions about what is good art, but I think most would agree that if you think art is good, it makes you feel something. A good television show makes you feel something (besides annoyed or bored.)

It may seem strange to include Masters of Sex and Marvel’s Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D. in the same blog post, but I watched them back to back and they are both good television. Different, but both good.

Masters of Sex is based on a fascinating topic. Who doesn’t want to know more about sex? The characters are rich and full (and developed at an appropriate pace). It’s fascinating to me to see the sexual attitudes of the time and the impact those had on people. I am not sure how much this show will get in to all of the psychology behind sex or just focus on the physiological and societal perspectives. That would make it much more interesting to me, but we will have to see where it goes. Interesting that the guy with the biggest sexual hang ups so far appears to be Masters. Perhaps that is the whole point! And that Johnson had chutzpah! The story of Masters and Johnson themselves makes for good TV. (The did end up marrying..and divorcing eventually. Sorry for the spoiler but its in Wikipedia.) The topic is clearly interesting, but it is also well done. I don’t break down all of the technical stuff (I am a VERY novice TV reviewer) but it felt like good TV to me and I am looking forward to more.

Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D is completely different. The premise of this show is completely ridiculous but fun. I was able to pick up the context pretty quickly (I am pretty smart and I know how to use the internet.) The show is a spin off of this summer’s movie The Avengers where something called “The Battle of New York” happened and aliens from another dimension attacked earth and the superhumans (like Thor and Ironman) saved the world. The purpose of S.H.I.E.L.D. (Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division) is to “shield” the world from all of the super humans and aliens and this crazy stuff going on. They are hot and smart and they have that dry sarcastic wit that I love. I could date this show.

I did get a tiny bit bored during the action/chase scenes and this subject matter is not the most interesting to me, but it is good television. You care about the story and the characters and there is cool technology stuff going on. It is also an interesting companion to the movies (which will continue) because it references them, but (I read in EW) that they are sticking with the smaller stories and heroes for budgetary and artistic reasons.  TV is smaller and you have an hour every week so it has to have a different formula. Makes sense! Joss Whedon makes good TV. I may not watch it because I can’t watch everything, but I think it will be a huge success and if you are in to these Marvel heroes, you will love it.

Two good shows that made me feel something. Thumbs up to Masters of Sex and Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.

October 5, 2013

Initial Thoughts: The Crazy Ones

I am not a fan of this show. A lot of people are watching it, but I don’t know why and I wonder how long that will last. There is not a lot of competition in its time slot for adults who don’t want to watch Glee or Gray’s Anatomy (yes, that show is still on). That might explain it. Here are my quick thoughts after two episodes:

  • Robin Williams is just too much. He delivers fast one liners as his complete dialog. He doesn’t have regular conversations. It’s like he is doing a comedy routine in every scene. As I was watching I just wanted to go watch him in Good Will Hunting to remind myself that he can be awesome. Not in this.
  • Sarah Michelle Gellar is annoying. Now that I am thinking about it, I am not sure I ever really liked her. I liked Buffy, the show, but I think she has always annoyed me a bit. He hair is horrible. I don’t get the damaged, dyed hair look.
  • James Wolk is awesome. I have loved him in everything I have seen him in (Lone Star, Political Animals, Mad Men). He is as cute as a button, first of all. He pulls off both cute and hot, actually. And apparently, he is funny too! I have never seen him do comedy, but he rocks it. The only scene I really liked of two whole episodes is one in the pilot where Robin Williams and James Wolk improv a sexy McDonald’s song (“Drive Through Lovin”) for Kelly Clarkson. It was hilarious. Worth watching the pilot.
  • Not Hamish Linklater‘s fault, but when I see him, I can only think that he was the guy who got all of my favorite people on The Newsroom in trouble.  So, I don’t like him. Sorry dude.

Like Hostages, this show feels forced to me (btw – “TV By The Numbers” predicts Hostages will get cancelled. Don’t waste your time on it.) The best part, after cute as a button James Wolk, was Kelly Clarkson in the pilot.  LOVE Kelly. She did good!

October 1, 2013

Initial Thoughts: Hostages and The Blacklist

I had an idea how this would go before I watched these two pilots.  From reading the reviews, I was pretty sure The Blacklist would be better. It was.

Hostages is not great TV. The show tried to set up the backstory of every character before the first commercial break. It just feels very forced. When Dillon McDermott’s character (the FBI agent) is introduced, he turns around slowly to reveal himself in response to the question, “who gave this order?” (or something) and predictably says “I did.” He then proceeds to take one of those huge TV risks to capture the bad guy, is successful and cocky about it, and this cheesy music plays while he walks away.  I had to re-play it to see if he walked away in slow motion because I remembered it being so ridiculous. He walked away normal speed, apparently, I just remembered it in slow motion.

Hostages was explained by one of its creators as Downton Abbey meets 24. I guess the Downton Abbey part comes from the fact that everyone in this family being held hostage had a secret. Maybe some more interesting stuff is coming, but we found out half way through in the first episode what everyone’s secret was and they weren’t that interesting. (spoiler alert!) One kid is dealing drugs, one is pregnant, and the dad is having an affair. Who cares? Something bigger is going on the with FBI agent. We don’t know what it is yet, but it seems to be slightly more interesting. This is no Downton Abbey. Where is the smart humor and the over the top, kind of making fun of itself but also being serious, drama?

The 24 part, I assume, is because the time span of the actual events will not be very long (more than 24 hours though) and will be spread out over many episodes. So far, there is not enough action for me to compare Hostages to 24 and our hero is no Jack Bauer. (I am not even sure who the hero is.)

The first episode ends with a cheesy statement from the surgeon mom, Toni Collette. The episode started and ended with major cheese.

The Blacklist, is much better. It may not be completely original, but it is better TV than Hostages. It is compelling, has unexpected twists and turns in the pilot, and we care about the characters. We also have a lot of mysteries that we actually want to know the answers too! Why is James Spader working with the FBI? Why does he ONLY want to work with this rookie FBI agent? How does he know all of these details about her life? (Is he her father? Is that possible?)  Is the actress playing the rookie FBI agent wearing a wig? (her hair looks very strange to me, but I may be the only person who had that question). Why does the guy in this show who was also on Homeland seem like a much worst actor on this show? (and did he change his hair color?)

I don’t want to give anything away about The Blacklist because you should watch it and it will be more fun if I don’t say any more. It’s no Homeland but it’s decent.

Thumbs down for Hostages. Thumbs up for The Blacklist. 

September 29, 2013

Today Was a Test

Last week at work was a disaster. I spent half of my week in meetings. The rest of the week I could barely focus because I was having very strange symptoms that made me think I was going in to early menopause. When I wasn’t having hot flashes, feeling super irritable, confused about mid-cycle spotting that would not stop, or just feeling spaced out, I was Googling to figure out what the heck was going on. Barely any work got done.

My long time readers may recall the strange reaction I had to nasal spray a few years ago. It’s been a while since I have taken any medication so when my dermatologist said he could give me a small shot to help heal the rough skin on my elbows (need I mention this was totally unnecessary), I forgot to say, “please don’t inject any foreign substances in to my body” and instead said, “sure.”

By the time I got to the front desk to check out, I felt panicked. I tried to remain calm but after getting a block away, I turned around and went back.  The doctor assured me that the small amount of cortisone he gave me could not possibly trigger any reaction and that I may have been “shaken” by getting a shot. I assured him that I am hypersensitive to all medication, have no issues with needles, and that I probably DID feel it coursing through my veins but if he was sure I would not die, I would manage to tough it out.  He assured me that I would not die. (He thought I was crazy.)

The anxiety lessened but lingered and expanded in to all of these other weird symptoms which Google made me initially think was perimenopause. After freaking out for a few days and starting to get really bummed about what might be ahead, it finally dawned on me to look in to this cortisone stuff more. Ah ha! Apparently cortisone can completely mess with your hormones. It’s rare (according to official medical sites) but, it’s happened to quite a few people on the internet and I am 99.9% sure it happened to me.

The symptoms are starting to fade, thank god. After going through this emotional roller coaster all week, when I finally shut down on Friday I was thinking I would have to work on Sunday to catch up. I frequently have this thought on Friday and 50% of the time, I do work on Sunday. But I had promised myself I wouldn’t do that anymore!! This was the test.

Today is Sunday. I woke up miserable debating what to do. Which one would be worse? Breaking my promise to myself and getting a little more caught up with work…or….keeping my promise to myself and continuing to be uncomfortable and stressed about being behind at work.

Clearly the right choice for a recovering perfectionist is to try to be more comfortable being uncomfortable. I have passed the test and didn’t do any work today. This week will suck but I will try really hard to prioritize and efficient and keep it in perspective.

I am now off to sweat out more of these drugs and catch up on some of the new shows!!  I’ve got my Lululemon on and I am ready to run. Hopefully, this week will be better than last week!

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