I recently this article called The Busy Trap that one of my employees sent me. It talks about how people today are always complaining that they are soooo busy when, really, they create all of this chaos themselves. They over-schedule and over-volunteer and just never stop going.
I am not one of those people. I under program. I worry about being too busy so I schedule one thing at a time (like I make plans for Friday OR Saturday not Friday AND Saturday.) Then, what often happens, is that my one plan gets canceled and I have no plans.
I don’t like to make plans at the last minute but I also don’t like to plan too far in advance in case something better comes up. The perfect planning window, however, does not always align with the planning windows of others, so I end up with no plans.
This might sound a bit shocking to those who know me as a planner. I like to have a plan. I don’t function well without a plan. Its kind of an endless loop of wanting a plan and not wanting to make a plan. We all have our endless loops that keep us from moving forward.
The upside is that my ducks are usually in a row, I get a decent amount of sleep and am able to make time for exercise, my 10 hours of dedicated TV watching, and to be a work-a-holic. The downside, is that I often end up with no plans and lately, I don’t feel like I am making the most of my life and my time.
Now my question to the crazy over-planners is, do their lives feel full or do they just feel tired? Are they doing what they really want to do with their time or just moving so fast so they don’t have time to think about the emptiness of their un-full lives? I can’t lump all of the crazy over-planners together, I suppose. I am sure some people are planning super fulfilling activities with their time. That’s what I want to do!
So what should I do with my under-planned time that I will look back on when I am 100 and say “wow, I really made the best of those years when I was healthy, had money to spend, and virtually no responsibilities.”
Sure, I volunteer and do some traveling. That helps. Should I do more of that?
There are a few things around NYC that I haven’t done, that I think, “I should do that!” But if I REALLY wanted to go to the Cloisters, wouldn’t I have gone already? Will my life be more full if I go to the Cloisters? There is only one way to find out the answer to that question. I guess I have to go to the Cloisters.
At the end of this “Busy Trap” article, the author decides that he wants to look back on his life and be happy that he spent more time hanging out with people he liked. That is definitely something that I love and makes my life feel more full. I don’t do enough of it because it requires making plans, and as I outlined, I have some issue with that. Remember when all of your friends were with you all the time and you never had to make plans because you were always just, together (like in college and soon after)? That was cool.
I should make MORE friends that I like to hang out with that live closer to me so I don’t have to travel to hang out with them (which requires even more planning). That would require me to get back to mingling. Making new friends is just as hard as dating, which is excruciating.
For those that have been following my blog for while, you probably recognize this theme that comes up that I continue to grapple with and have not yet conquered. Possibly, because I continue to watch The Bachelor Pad and Big Brother instead of making plans. If I had it all figured out, what would I have to blog about? I guess I could share all of the magical answers with you. That might increase my readership.
Well, I’ll keep plugging away at and if I come up with some insightful answers to leading a happy and fulfilling life, you will be the first to know.