I have been home for a little over a week. The jet lag has faded and I am back to real life. I am falling back in to the rhythm of my just OK and not AMAZING life. Old patterns and feelings are creeping back in.
I still have so many questions! How can I keep moving and growing while living my day to day life? How can I ignite the flame of the sparks of spiritual connections I made in the UK? What the hell kind of business am I supposed to start? There are not enough hours in the day. In my free moments, I can’t decide whether to write or research or get in my move calories or meditate or do Rieki!! Then I have to plan healthy meals, get in my 8 hours of beauty sleep, and keep doing my day job. I have accumulated so many books on my Kindle but I am not reading them!! (I guess I need to prioritize the one on Slip Stream Time Hacking!)
What is the right balance of taking care of yourself and pushing yourself to keep growing?
I was planning to write about the poetry and movement course but that is not how I am feeling today. Today I am feeling a little paralyzed and overwhelmed and not sure what to do next. The Fear, Uncertainty, and Doubt (FUD) are setting in. I have withdrawal from being surrounded by the people I became so close to. I am back in my solo life that requires effort to engage with other people (not my forte) and will power to NOT engage with the wrong people (also not my forte).
My life is not all new things and adventures. There is a lot of this FUD mixed in. My life is not my social media feed. Keeping up that level of excitement is against my nature (or at least my current vibration.) I have to fight hard to break the downward spiral that can set in. On days like today I try to start with one thing that will move me in the right direction.
No, actually, what I do first is give myself a little bit of time to feel what I am feeling. I acknowledge that what I am trying to do (live my biggest and best life and elevate my vibration) is hard and I let myself have an internal temper-tantrum.
I did the work! I went on the pilgrimage! Can’t it be all fixed now? Why can’t I make decisions more easily ? Why is the path still not clear? How can I still get distracted by things and people that are not best for my greatest and highest good? I released my fears in to a sacred spring. And then I burned them in the fireplace of a 700 year old manor! I plunged naked in to a freezing cold healing pool to purify myself. I have the Universal Life Force Energy flowing through me. AND I have the I have a manifestation wand that lights up! Seriously…what else can I do???!!!!
Well, I am a star soul on a quest for enlightenment. There is more work to do. (More on star souls later, I am still learning!)
After the temper tantrum, I buckle down and make myself do SOMETHING. Just one thing (that I don’t really feel like doing) that will keep me on my trajectory. I can take a walk and listen to an inspiring podcast. I can reach out to connect with other human beings (being careful to stick with the ones that will elevate my vibration.) I can write. I can get my ass to a yoga class (or a dance class)! I can finish that book on Slip Stream Time Hacking! I can make a list of stuff to learn about for my mystery business (I really love lists. Can start a business that is all about lists?).
My inspirational advice for today?
Get perspective. Practice self love. Do just one thing, which will turn in to one more thing….Keep moving.