I had my first shamanic journeying session a couple of weeks ago. I decided to journey because my astrology/natal chart reading uncovered that I have some past life karma in my houses of family and committed partnerships that I am apparently working through in this lifetime. I am a super curious person and these are definitely areas of my life that have some angst, so when my friend Kim (who did the natal chart reading) offered to do a journeying session to uncover and release some karma, I was all in!
So what is a shamanic journey? When I sat down to write this, I wasn’t really sure myself how to explain it but Google hooked me up.
“Shamanic journeying is a way of communicating with your inner or spirit self and retrieving information” (source: Shamanic Drumming)
Who doesn’t want to get information from their inner self? I sure do!
What I did not realize was that a shaman can see in to other people’s inner/spirit selves – which is a very good thing because my attempt did not get very far (spoiler alert for three paragraphs down.)
So how does this work? Did you know that you can journey with a Shaman through the internet? You sure can! Kim and I connected on a Zoom call and chatted for a bit. We revisited my natal chart and talked about some stuff going on and then we jumped in.
I had my sacred space set up with crystals and incense and candles (yup, I have this stuff, now) and I laid back on my bed, relaxed and ready to go! Kim led me through a sort of guided meditation and then started the shamanic drumming and rattling while she kept saying “shamanic” things that, full disclosure, I could not totally hear because of the drumming and rattling.
I tried REALLY hard to “see” stuff. I am sure I was trying too hard, but that’s how I roll. I saw a few images of the old west, desert and mountains, a porcupine, a cactus, a wagon, a fire pit, a woman in a white dress, a baby, a gun, and a pickle. Yes, a pickle.
At the point I saw the pickle, I was thought, “Clearly this is not working for me. Random stuff is coming in to my head and it can’t really mean anything.” I told Kim what I saw and she said everything that comes in to your head means something, so maybe it did. So far, the meaning of the pickle is unknown.
But Kim saw a full on past life of mine. She went right in to my soul and pulled it out. Because she is a shaman and that is what shamans do. How do I know she really saw a past life? Well, I have no scientific proof, of course, but when she told me about it, I could feel that is was true. And every time I tell someone else about it, I can feel that it is true. Writing this now, I can feel that it is true. It feels true. That’s all I know.
It was a tragic story. It doesn’t feel right to reveal all of the details on the internet. It wasn’t just my lifetime, it was also the lifetimes of my brother and sister, who in this past lifetime were my children. They key takeaways were that I tried to hide all of us to protect us from something horrible and I couldn’t protect us. It did not end well.
This all made sense to me in terms of my relationships with my siblings. They are my heart and I completely believe they were my children in a previous lifetime. The “hiding out” part Kim related to me hiding my true self from the world in this lifetime. Holding back and not letting people see me. Metaphorically and literally. This is definitely something I do. I have dabbled in busting out, but I always run back. Laying low, avoiding connection, and staying quiet is where I am most comfortable. In this past life something super scary happened and I hid to protect myself from it. In this life my soul still wants to keep hiding. But we are here to learn lessons and clearly this is one I am working on.
Sure, the logical side of my brain understands that Kim could have intuited this story from everything she and I talked about and what she knows about me. And I am sure some of you are thinking that, too. Does a Shaman see “past lives” or do they “see” stories that help people understand things about themselves in new ways and push through them. Does it matter? Isn’t ANY way to help people understand things about themselves and become a happier/better person a good thing?
I know Kim believes 100% that she is seeing stories from people’s souls that they carry with them from lifetime to lifetime. (And she said it always surprises her when she does it!) I know how this story FEELS to me, so I believe it, too.
What shamans can also do, I learned, is bring back a part of your soul to re-integrate it. A part that is missing and holding you back. Kim convinced my former self (who’s name was Agnes) that I am not in danger now so I can come out. It’s not quite that simple. I have not morphed in to an adventurous extrovert who always speaks her mind overnight. I have to work with Agnes on this now that we have been reunited, but it is kind of fun to tell myself “Let’s go Agnes, we’re stepping out!” (which I have been doing a bit more). I dragged my co-workers to a happy hour because I told them I was re-integrate part of my soul. They were awesome and supportive and went with me. I mean, how can you say no when someone tells you their soul depends on it!
What’s also awesome is that this work I am doing on my soul can apparently help the souls of my brother and sister! There definitely seemed to be some energetic shifts that happened. My somewhat skeptical sister (aka Matilda) became somewhat curious and could not stop thinking about this story. It made her feel elated even though the ending was tragic. Some karma release perhaps? And my brother (aka Bobby, short for Robert) has been unusually communicative with my sister and I since this Shamanic Journey. Coincidence? Karma release? Hmmm….
It’s still crazy to me that I am on this path. I met someone last week and I found myself talking about all of this new spiritual stuff I am learning about. At one point he asked me, “When did you go on this Pilgrimage?” I told him it was just in May. And he said, “So this is all new? Who were you in March? What would we be talking about if I met you in March?” That really blew my mind. It feels like light years since March. And who will I be NEXT March? Or in my next lifetime? There is so much yet to be revealed….