I was out the other night with five friends who actually date people they meet online. Five of them. One friend rarely dates and is very picky. She has a profile with maybe three sentences in it and two pictures (she is very pretty) and dated two guys within a month on being on Match. She is current still dating one of them. Another friend is going on 5 dates a week with women he meets on line. I have read his profile. It is kind of blah. The ladies don’t seem to care. He has cute pics (I actually helped him pick them out). Another friend just broke up with the third guy she has dated for a period of months that she met online. OK, they are all still single and dating, but they are DATING! I am not dating. I should be dating.
I made them read my profile immediately in the bar and tell me what my problem was. The pictures were approved. The profile was wildly rejected. They said it was too long (I was told that men don’t have a long attention span. This sounds ridiculous to me, but they are dating and I am not.) They also said it made me sound to serious and up tight. They said I should only reveal a few things about myself and not try to be funny. Hmmm….
A couple of weeks ago, my sister sent me this CNN article about a woman who did some experimenting with online dating. It’s a good read. The key takeaway I got from the article was that your online profile should be short and kind of vague. Interesting. The same things my friends were saying. This is also the exact opposite from the advice I got from Evan Marc Katz in Finding the One Online. Well, that has not been going so well…
I gave in an let them re-write my profile for me. Their re-write seemed a little plain and boring to me so I tried to inject a tiny bit of personality back in there within their guidelines and just re-posted it. Here is a before and after of one of the sections..
My Self Summary…(before): I have been lucky enough to practice yoga in Bali and Marrakech but I have a hard time making it to class in NYC. My day job in software keeps me busy and is a great conversation topic at cocktail parties. I own a cozy apartment with a great view of my neighbor’s television and easy access to the East River running path. I love the convenience of downtown Manhattan but have some serious Brooklyn envy. I am quite proud of my new found, daily meditation habit. (It’s often more like 20 minutes of non-stop thinking, but I keep plugging away at trying to quiet my mind.) I have a blog about my quest to watch less television and do things like see the Book of Mormon, explore Greenpoint, and try rock climbing. I have the cutest nieces on the planet that have expanded my cultural tastes to include Elmo birthday parties and Barney songs. I am the kind of girlfriend who will save a show on TiVo if I know you want to watch it and make sure I try to keep your favorite foods in my fridge. I love being up early and enjoying the quiet of the city but am also very happy to cuddle in bed in a little longer with the perfect guy.
My Self Summary..(after): I’ve been a New Yorker since college and I can’t imagine living anywhere else. Although I am a city girl at heart, I do like to explore far-away places with friends or that special someone. Last year I traveled to Bali (amazing!) and Istanbul is on the top of my list for 2013. I own my own place with easy access to runs on the river and my favorite spots in the East Village. I am a bit of an entertainment junky so I challenge you to keep up with my knowledge of pop culture. My friends and family are a big part of my life, especially my adorable nieces. If the right man were to find his way in to my heart, I hope he would be up for and princess birthday party or family visits in the big city from time to time…
I am going to give this shorter, simpler, more generic profile a whirl…..I could not possibly do any worse!